Let Go and Let God -- Practice Needed

This morning brought another round of hot yoga at Sweat Star. I’m doing a 15-day challenge, so lots and lots of sweat and lots of opportunities to embrace my word of the day. Today’s word was actually a phrase: Let go and let God. I’ve been practicing it all day.

Let go and let God. It sounds so incredibly trite. But try doing it. Try visualizing just one thing in your life that you can’t control or change and offering it up, open-handed, with the mantra “Let go and let God.” Maybe it will come easy for you. I need lots and lots of practice. And I have plenty of opportunities every single day for it. Whenever I get a glimpse of what it’s like to really let go and trust God with that thing, I never want to go back to the grasping. There is too much freedom in the letting go.

I want to thank my friend Kimberly again for talking me into writing about our journey on Caring Bridge soon after Chandler’s accident. Because of my writing, my heart and soul continue to grow stronger, to be encouraged. This afternoon, I went to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I was on the phone with a friend telling her I’m still unsure how I want to spend Mother’s Day. As I fumbled to get my credit card to work in the machine, the pharmacy technician, tears in her eyes, told me she recognized me and that she had just started following my blog. She said, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” I wanted to hug her, but people were in line, and I was having a conversation with my friend. I can’t tell you what that did to my heart. She was hurting with me. I left that pharmacy with the best medicine ever – the reassurance once again that I AM NOT ALONE.

Tonight we had the great pleasure of watching Charli dance in her spring dance recital at school. Any time I get to watch her do something she loves, it makes me happy. Today I had to make a choice about the recital. I had to choose joy. Chandler was there for her freshman and sophomore dance recitals. He was so proud of her and would make comments to her about how she did – always concluding that she was one of the best dancers of the evening. We were almost all there. I wouldn’t let myself think too hard or feel too much about the one who wasn’t there. Not tonight. I want to believe Chandler was watching and was just as proud of his sister as ever.

My heart breaks for Charli. She has three brothers. And she misses one of them immensely.