The Yoga Barn, God WITH, and Letting Go
God has always been speaking to me, has always been WITH me, in more ways than I have often been open to recognize. Historically, I have tuned in to just a handful of ways I can get the message. Now I know better. And continue to know better.
This weekend, I was reminded that God uses everything he has created to paint beautiful pictures of his love for me and to send clear messages of his presence in my life. I was privileged to spend the past couple of days in the desert with about a dozen beautiful women at The Yoga Barn Ranch. We all came together with our own unique stories and yet similar points of pain, loss, and passion.
God WITH
Something transformative happens when people bring their true selves into the conversation, moved by a genuine desire to grow, to be healthy, and to love well. Add to that...IN NATURE. This is what transpired at this weekend’s retreat. And once again, God showed up for me big time to remind me of this life-sustaining truth – I am WITH you.
Rachel, who owns and runs The Yoga Barn Ranch with her husband Mike (a trained chef who spoiled us rotten with delicious healthy meals) gave me a bracelet that says, “I will hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven.” She has suffered the loss of two brothers. She knows. I will cherish that token of love. When it passed from Rachel’s hand to mine, it may as well have been Jesus sitting there handing me that bracelet.
Heidi, my dear friend I’ve known forever, co-lead the retreat and showed me once again, up close, what it looks like to follow your heart and see how God brings deep fulfillment and works through you to bless others.
Carrie and Alexis spoke words to me so resonant, I had to go to my lovely little space in the loft after lunch and write them down. One message was personal to me, the other personal and yet universal...
The content of your life is the curriculum for your evolution.
Did you hear that? Nothing is wasted. Another way to say it is, “God can redeem everything.” The pain, the loss, the victories, the defeats, the mistakes, the healthy relationships and the not-so-healthy, the right moves and the wrong...they all teach us something that can serve us well on our journey.
Letting Go
During one of the first sessions, we wrote down internal and external things we need to let go of. Surprisingly (NOT), all of mine were internal. The perpetually bustling arena that is the mind of Lisa Espinoza contrives stories, generates dialogues, and overthinks the mundane and the monumental at an immeasurable rate. Often, these stories and dialogues and overthinking binges lead to my own anxiety or pain or lack of ability to enjoy the moment. They hinder me from loving both myself and others. And loving well, as I’m coming to understand, really is the point.
So one of the things I chose to let go of is discounting my own desires and doubting my ability to make decisions. I was very bugged after writing it down on the paper they gave us that I combined those two things as if they were one. The writer in me just could not let it go. As it turns out, maybe they are just two sides of the same coin.
One piece of wisdom that hit home to me this weekend (thank you, Carrie) was, “Your knower knows. Follow your heart.”
I got to exercise one of my “letting go” items today after I got home from the retreat. I responded to a pending situation from my heart instead of overthinking and doubting and obsessing over what the other people involved would want. I listened to my heart and made a decision that I am at peace with. It felt good to trust myself.
God was WITH me this weekend – in delicious meals, laughter, edifying conversations, Joshua trees flourishing in the middle of a seemingly dry desert, a million stars spread out before me as I lay on a quartz-covered hill, and in sweet dogs large enough for me to ride who graced us with their presence at meals and during yoga. He was with me when Jana told me she was at Chandler’s memorial service. He was with me when I curled up on my fluffy white comforter in the loft to read and journal. He was with me when 6 am hit and I realized these yogis get up way too early for me!
He is always WITH me.
And that makes all the difference.
Dear Lord, I’m forever grateful for all the ways you meet me, all the ways you teach me, all the ways you pour your love and grace out on me. I’m grateful for the privilege of sharing a weekend with women who inspired me, every one of them, each in their own unique way. Help me in this week ahead to let go of those things that do not serve me well and to embrace the reality of your great love so that I can love others well. I know that is the point. Amen.
