On Chandler's Bench
When I drive by the corner of Via Honesto and Antonio every day on my way to work now, I glance over and see a permanent memorial to Chandler that’s taken the place of the temporary bike memorial that had stood since January 2019.
We had a small dedication gathering for Chandler’s bench a couple of Sundays ago. The plaque on the bench says, “Unafraid...you always went first,” a line from the song Chance wrote for his brother’s celebration-of-life service. Jumping off the bridge, body surfing at the Wedge, talking to the one who was alone, climbing to the top of Saddleback Mountain. Defying gravity in its ultimate form. He always went first.
I thought the best way to dedicate the space and honor Chandler would be to share how Chandler’s life, and how losing him, has inspired us to live life differently. My heart was simultaneously full of gratitude and pain as I listened to the stories, one after the other. Smiling through tears. That’s what it was.
The common thread was this – “Chandler taught me to live in the moment, really be in it...to just leave everything on the field.” When we saw Chandler live in real time, it was just Chandler being Chandler. Now that we don’t have the amusement of witnessing his life further unfold in technicolor, I think we realize that, without even meaning to, he had found a key to life.
I want Chandler to be remembered. I want his legacy to live on. The stories I heard around the memorial bench that day, as well as comments from people I’ve never even met, assure me that Chandler is still making his mark.
Chandler lived more fully in 25 years than many people do in triple that time on earth. I think Chase expressed what all of us were feeling as we gathered around that bench – “I don’t feel bad because Chandler didn’t have more time or missed out on life. He didn’t. I feel bad for me because I don’t have more time with him.”
If you’re ever in the area of Via Honesto and Antonio, or just want to take a field trip, stop by Chandler’s bench. Bring a friend or loved one and just sit and chat, enjoy a picnic lunch. Listen. Be in the moment. Or come alone. Sit and breathe in deeply. Let the sweet air fill your lungs. Soak in the sunshine or, on the rare days it happens here in SoCal, feel the raindrops on your face. That is the moment you have. BE in it…right where God is meeting you.
That is a very Chandler thing to do....on his bench.
