Amazing Grace and Barbecue

This morning at Mission Hills, we had a time of worship to start the day. I couldn’t sing. I just cried. My heart and soul resonated with the words of each song — “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound…I could sing of your love forever…Lord, you are good to me.” I stood in my weakness and smallness and infinite need and basked in God’s strength and greatness and sufficiency.

And it still hurt like hell.

Can I say how good it feels to fall into the arms of a friend who cries and hurts with you, when all you can do is sob and say, “It’s just too much…too much”? Thank you, Gail.

Tonight I went to SweatStar for hot yoga. It’s been a while because I had that post drilled into my bone for the dental implant last week and was supposed to stay out of the extreme heat. Guess what my word was tonight on the mat? Surrender. That is the theme of my life right now.

Surrender. In “12-step” terms, that’s another word for “turning my will and my life over to God.” That pretty much covers everything. I am open handed. I don’t have a lot of answers right now. So I wake up and pray, “God, I give you this day and everything in it. I have no agenda or strategy. I just need you to be with me and help me take the next right step, do the next right thing.”

And He just keeps showing up.

Oh, also, today….there was barbecue.