Beyond the Grey

This morning I woke up to a greyish sky outside my window. I decided that, at least for the moment, my mood was not going to be grey. First, I brushed my teeth. While getting ready, I played Third Day’s God of Wonders. I needed to focus on God, on how much bigger He is than anything I am facing or could ever face.

I’m not minimizing or denying my pain or the difficulty of my circumstances. They are real, and quite honestly, I didn’t check these boxes.

But often when I choose to acknowledge God in His holiness — that He is perfectly complete in love, wisdom, power, righteousness — I open myself to hope. I find strength. I see possibilities. My heart feels lighter.

This is not a formula for bypassing grief. There are times when listening to a song about God just makes me sad that Chandler is with Him and not with me. I haven’t mastered the art of engineering all my neurons to fire, “Don’t worry be happy because, after all…there’s God!”

I can say that more often than not, when I turn my thoughts toward the truth of who God is, it just helps me. Whether I’m facing a grey morning or a painful memory or a crappy situation, I am trying to learn to shift my focus, at least for a couple of minutes, to my Higher Power. When I use that term, it captures exactly what I need…to be reminded that He is higher, bigger, greater. And yet, He is right here with me.

Thank you, my loving Higher Power, that I can look to you and find some respite from the grey. Thank you for bringing color and light. Amen.