15 Days of Surrender
Today was a double-header. I am doing a 15-day challenge at Sweat Star (just to recap, it’s yoga in 105 degrees of humid heat—no goats involved), and to get my 15 sessions in before I go out of town this weekend, I had to do two sessions today and will do two tomorrow. I saw five of Chandler’s B &B friends there today, my tribe, so that’s just a big fat bonus. I feel like he’s with us in that room and so pleased that we have connected like this and are here for each other. My “Chandler 4-Ever” bracelet inspired me today when I wasn’t sure I could get through a second session.
Here’s what I’m learning through this 15-day challenge.
Sometimes the only thing that gets you to the next moment is breathing…deeply, intentionally. There are times when I feel like my guts might fall out because I’m so stinking hot in that yoga room. For someone who loves being hot, that’s saying a lot. But then I focus on my breath, and I’m able to stay on my mat. Whatever I need to do, my breath is what gets me there. One breath. One movement. In bow pose, a ridiculous stance that has your toes coming up behind your head in a standing position, the mantra is, “I breathe in; I breathe out.” It actually works.
How the heck does that translate to life outside a sweatbox that people pay to be in for an hour?
Breathing matters. I know it sounds just plain stupid. I breathe. You breathe. We all breathe. It really doesn’t take a lot of skill or thought. But when we are stressed, our breath tends to become shallow. In yoga, deep, intentional breathing is the point. Deep breathing can produce a lot of health benefits, from reducing stress to lowering blood pressure. Deep breathing becomes second nature when you walk into the yoga room and begin your practice. So when you exit the sweatbox, and you find yourself, say in the middle of a Mother’s Day without your son, you find it easier to breathe yourself through to the next moment.
Another thing I’m learning is that my mind is powerful. When we come to a pose that is physically challenging, most often it is my mental focus and positive self-talk that allows me to move into that pose. It is most certainly the mental component that helps me maintain the pose well past where my body says, “No more.”
Outside the hot yoga room, that translates to – the sound byte you play in your head over and over matters!!! I have been practicing the art of NOT obsessing over certain trains of thought that get me nowhere, and it has brought me great peace and serenity. Instead, when my mind starts to entertain counterproductive thoughts that don’t serve me well, I can say, “OK, that’s enough…you can move on now.” I’m walking through the most difficult circumstance I’ve ever had to walk through, and I am learning that I can show up and be stronger than I ever imagined I could. Every time I am in a difficult yoga pose, sweat dripping from every part of my body, my heart pounding and my mind working to focus on that moment, I think, “I am stronger than I thought I was.”
Probably the greatest lesson I’m learning through this 15-day hot yoga challenge is surrender. Surrender to God. To his power in my powerlessness; to his love in my longing; to his provision in my need; to his acceptance in my striving; to his comfort in my grieving. The answer to all of my deepest needs is in my Creator.
I am learning that in surrender, in admitting my ultimate powerlessness, I find my strength.
My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:10).
