Plans Deferred
This morning we had our special Christmas chapel at school. I knew it would likely be difficult because at last year’s chapel, they said a special farewell to me (I was leaving to do speech therapy at Beach Kids) and then I left and drove straight to the hospital to be with Chandler at our new home in SICU. This year’s chapel was in a different location on campus than last year’s, so I thought it would mediate some of the difficulty.
The first song I heard when I walked into chapel was “Oh, Holy Night.” We played that song in Chandler’s room on Christmas Eve last year. I sang a couple of verses and then decided to retreat to my office where I could sob in private. My friend Joanne came in and gave me a hug. It was good to be able to talk about it.
I blew my nose and resolved to make another attempt at chapel. Under normal circumstances, watching those kids perform their songs and scripture readings makes me happy. I didn’t want to miss it. I walked back upstairs to chapel in time to hear the beginning of Silent Night by one of the lower elementary classes. It was sweet and beautiful…and I had to leave. Too many emotions tied to past Christmases — last year, for sure, but also going back to the days when Chandler with his cute little dimples would stand on stage at church with the other kids and sing their well-rehearsed Christmas songs.
I went back to my office and got some work done. Also enjoyed visits from lots of friends stopping by to say Merry Christmas.
The rest of the day has been a detour. Charli and I were supposed to finish up our Christmas shopping, but instead, she’s been on the couch sick, snuggled under her fuzzy poinsettia Christmas blanket.
All in all, it’s been a day of deferred plans. Instead of stressing over not getting the Christmas shopping done, I’m going to light the fire and the candles and watch something Christmas-y with my girl. Oh, and maybe take advantage of online shopping. Just a bit.
Today’s Chandler-ness:
(No Chandler quotes today, but a snapshot of the “spirited” nature of sweet little Chandler)
6/20/99 - What’s gotten into you? In one week, you threw mud on the neighbor’s door, asked for eggs from neighbors “So Mom could make cookies,” pooped in the trash can for the neighbors to see, and mooned the neighbor kids!
