Trust Me

This morning I was scrolling through my “Calm” app and ran across a 10-minute meditation on self-trust. I tapped on it and settled in for a few minutes of peace and tranquility. At the end of the quiet meditation, the facilitator talked a bit about how important it is to trust yourself.

Yesterday I was reading The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman, and she also talked about trusting yourself, specifically in the context of decision making. She said that when you’re considering the next right thing, it’s less about hearing from everyone else, including the experts, and more about finding a quiet, still place within – to allow God space to form the vision in you for the next right thing.

I’m seeing a common theme here.

The rub for those of us raised in religious circles is that we’ve been told over and over how lowly and worm-like we are, so why on earth would we be able to trust ourselves. We can only trust God, right?! And what about the scripture that says, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding”? Doesn’t that mean we aren’t supposed to trust ourselves, only God?

I think Emily Freeman shed some light on this for me. She said, “If [Jesus] lives within you, then that means he speaks, even now…Trust the voice that comes from within.”

We have to make decisions in our lives. Every single day. Sometimes they are fairly inconsequential; other times, they are monumental. And guess what…God doesn’t typically show up with a billboard message, writing in the sky, or an audible voice from heaven to tell us what to do. I tend to rely heavily on the input of others in making decisions – from throw pillow colors to future career aspirations. I think one of the things God is doing in my heart is helping me learn to trust the voice within.

This year, the first without Chandler, I am not planning to make any big life decisions. What I’m doing now is creating space within for God to form His vision for what’s next. Creating space to know Christ in a deeper way and to see more clearly who I am in Him. This is the path toward self-trust.

God, help me learn to trust myself -- the voice within -- because you, Creator of the universe and of my heart, are alive in me. Amen.