Doing Our Best

A week ago today, the Espinoza clan landed in Albuquerque and made a beeline to Mac’s Steak in the Rough for chicken-fried steak fingers, gravy, and french fries, your typical health food fare. It was the beginning of a fabulous week marked by priceless family time, world-class cuisine, and the beauty of Santa Fe at Christmas. It was also the prelude to January 1.

Today I joined a dear friend for tea at Starbucks, a friend who knows firsthand the pain of losing someone you love with all your heart way too soon. We talked about Chandler and about what it feels like to live through the first year. We agreed that life is full of reference points to the one we are missing. “This time last year, he was…” For her, it’s been many years, and yet, the reference points remain. Thankfully, she said they are not as pervasive as in the early years, though the moments of profound, tangible pain can emerge at any time, out of the blue.

So back to this family of mine. They are my heart. My happy place. My pride and joy. My best thing. Their smiles make me smile. I am a very proud wife and mama. I’m sure we are not doing all this perfectly — that would be impossible given our human DNA. But we are doing our best.

We are going through the worst together. And we are not giving up…on life or on one another. By the grace and strength of God, we will continue to honor Chandler by loving one another well and by seeking to be forces of love in our spheres of influence.

Today’s Chandler-ness:
10/5/98 -
Chandler: I saw a guy on TV, and his hemorrhoids made him strong.
Mom: My hemorrhoids don’t make me strong.
Chandler: But they made him strong.
It finally dawned on me.
Mom: You mean steroids?
Chandler: Yeah, steroids.