Pizza & Ice Cream in Seattle

Five-thirty am comes awfully early. But it’s well worth it when it means you arrive in Seattle by 10:30 and still have the entire day to explore downtown, shop, eat pizza twice, and end the day with cookie dough plus ice cream in a waffle cone.

Chip has a speaking engagement tomorrow here in Seattle, and he invited me to come along. Tomorrow afternoon, friends we’ve known since Chip’s mullet days are coming to meet us.

There is only one other person on this planet besides me who knows what it’s like to lose their son Chandler. Chip and I talk about him a lot. We talked about him a lot today. Talking about Chandler doesn’t make a day bad or good. Talking about Chandler feels as natural as breathing to us. He is as much a part of our family now as he was before January 1.

We both hurt for our other kids. Nothing is worse than knowing your kids are in pain — physical or emotional. And right now, Chip and I are fully aware that losing their brother — it just absolutely sucks. We also know that every difficult experience in life can be an opportunity to develop deeper compassion, broader insight, and stronger character. I’m not saying that’s all worth the price of losing Chandler. We would like him back, thank you. I’m just saying that given the reality of losing Chandler, one of the good things that can come of it is that we show up in the world as better human beings for having gone through this whole painful ordeal.

It is such a strange journey, this journey of grief. One minute we are talking about the tempting items on the menu in front of us, the next about how much we miss Chandler eating everything out of the refrigerator.

But we are honoring Chandler. Moving forward one step, one hour, one day, one week, one month at a time.

Thank you, God, for crispy, fresh pizza, a beautiful view of the water, a partner to grieve with, and a big-screen TV in our hotel on which I can now watch some mindless show and just veg out. So grateful for the down time. Amen.