Bigger Than Me

It’s blurry, I know, but this picture says it all -- the big guys waiting to go down the big ramp at Vans Skatepark and little Chandler right beside them waiting his turn.

Fearless.

I used to take him to Vans on their “bike” night (usually it’s for skateboarders). He was in his element. It was common to hear, “Look at that little guy!” Sometimes I’d let him do double sessions. Parents know…there’s nothing that makes you happier than seeing your kid doing what they love.

I needed to see that picture tonight. I’m not feeling fearless.

Losing Chandler is bigger than me. I am the little guy…waiting, knowing there are lots of big obstacles in front of me.

What would honor Chandler? Tackling one at a time. Thanksgiving, December 15, Christmas, every damn day up until January 1. Then New Year’s. And beyond.

God, only with your strength and the support of family and friends can I tackle what’s to come. It’s bigger than me. But you are bigger than all. Amen.